Okay so you had to get to bed last night and you missed the kiss that was heard all around the world. Good news is you really didn’t miss it since ABC didn’t air the Rihanna Britney smooch, they cut away to the audience.

Thank God for YouTube. Feel free to watch the entire strip tease, pole dancing duo wrap-up their sultry salsa with a big wet one. We will pause for all you men under 70 out there who need to ponder that a bit. . .

Okay now that your finished with that, let’s explore a more intellectual train of thought. Hasn’t that already been done? Now either Britney Spears is the most intoxicating female to otherwise heterosexual women, or Rihanna and Britney both are just hapless pawns in a much larger game that demands the merciless defilement of human civility in the pursuit of the almighty dollar. Having said that, let’s not judge. Let’s do assess how well they pulled it off.

Not very well. First Britney seemed really uncomfortable and not all there, almost like she just happened to be passing by the stage and decided to join in at the spur of the moment. Rihanna looked like a ‘professional,’ we aren’t quite sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. The kiss itself was a little sloppy especially for a pre-planned kiss; they must have rehearsed it since network cameras knew to cut away.