In the dimly lit corners of the karaoke world she or he is as pure as the driven snow. They have never even seen a karaoke machine, much less a karaoke bar. They don’t know what a cdg or a KJ is. These are the untouched, lyrical virgins and somehow you have convinced them to come out tonite and at least watch.

Yes, they watch in amazement as the regulars take their turn at the mic. They blush uncontrollably when someone does bad, they are filled with excitement when someone is good and they absolutely find it incomprehensible that “you” have the kahunas to get up there and sing. As you mentor them through the evening on the mass appeal that singing karaoke has, you notice them curiously, if not apprehensively, paging through the songbook. That’s when you hear the universe calling on you to do them a favor and pop their karaoke cherry.

Maybe it’s the charitable side coming out in you, but you feel the insatiable need to help your victim/friend come of age on this night. So you spend 90 minutes convincing them to “give it try,” even the waitress is routing them on  and then finally, they relent and write down their first song request. You watch them awkwardly scribble their name with the tiny midget pencil that comes with the songbook, and when they finish, you grab the piece of paper and dash up to KJ.

You do this partly because you don’t want them to change their mind on the way up to the KJ and partly because the place is about to close. The KJ smiles that wide-toothed grin every time there is new meat, and your friend is called for their first song…ever.

Advice: Relish the service you have just provided to the entire karaoke community. As you gaze on like the proud mama bear that you have become, you can’t help but feel a since of pride, like baby’s first day at kindergarten. You have introduced a fragile, duckling into this amazing pastime. Sure, it will take time for them to sing without their backs turned to the crowd, but hey….Baby steps.