Karaoke Regulars:
The Voice Coach
This person is suffering from “Randy Jackson Disorder” that is one who is obsessed with evaluating other singers even though they cannot sing very well themselves nor do they have any knowledge of voice mechanics, thus the reference to American Idol’s very own Randy Jackson who offers no useful voice advice to contestants other than “you were a little pitchy dawg.” A person afflicted as such is easily identifiable in the karaoke bar.
They are the ones that rush to the front when you are about to sing, then stare down your throat the entire time. Sometimes they offer advice while you are singing, like motioning for you to sing louder, flapping their arms like a drunken symphony conductor. In some extreme cases, they may grab the second microphone and sing-along to guide you. Afterwards, you will receive a full-scale critique which in most cases is inexplicable; “You need to take your voice up 2 ranges,” “sing from your kidneys,” or “curl your tongue more.”
Advice: Ignoring them is not the answer. These people more than likely had older siblings that tormented them relentlessly as a child, so they have control issues. The key is to torment them just as their siblings did. That is, be rude. If you are unable to be rude, prepare for voice lessons each time you sing, they prey on the helpless.
The Voice Coach
This person is suffering from “Randy Jackson Disorder” that is one who is obsessed with evaluating other singers even though they cannot sing very well themselves nor do they have any knowledge of voice mechanics, thus the reference to American Idol’s very own Randy Jackson who offers no useful voice advice to contestants other than “you were a little pitchy dawg.” A person afflicted as such is easily identifiable in the karaoke bar.
They are the ones that rush to the front when you are about to sing, then stare down your throat the entire time. Sometimes they offer advice while you are singing, like motioning for you to sing louder, flapping their arms like a drunken symphony conductor. In some extreme cases, they may grab the second microphone and sing-along to guide you. Afterwards, you will receive a full-scale critique which in most cases is inexplicable; “You need to take your voice up 2 ranges,” “sing from your kidneys,” or “curl your tongue more.”
Advice: Ignoring them is not the answer. These people more than likely had older siblings that tormented them relentlessly as a child, so they have control issues. The key is to torment them just as their siblings did. That is, be rude. If you are unable to be rude, prepare for voice lessons each time you sing, they prey on the helpless.
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